


but you live on within me

by gayhems



Category: Fire Emblem: If | Fire Emblem: Fates
Genre: Gen, M/M, Post-Fire Emblem Fates: Birthright, Pre-Relationship, elise and xander are mentioned but yknow, the major character death is for them btw and its not described
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-14
Updated: 2017-09-14
Packaged: 2018-12-29 16:14:07
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,180
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12088641
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/gayhems/pseuds/gayhems
Summary: Coronations aren't so enjoyable when there's blood on the crown.





	but you live on within me

**Author's Note:**

> this is a very cathartic piece and not all that great but i tried my best

Castle Krakenburg groaned all day and all night under the aching weight of Leo's emergency coronation. It wasn't traditional, not by a landslide, nor was it a day of celebration or joy. No food or drinks were served, nor was there any song or dance. It was professional and nothing else, like Xander, had he survived the war, would have wanted his to be. But, Leo reminded himself again, Xander was dead and this was in his honor. As the ceremony went on, droning and boring, Leo's mind drifted to the audience of Nohrian and Hoshidan alike, specifically the sad face of Princess Sakura. Her expression was that of someone trying desperately to look happy, or neutral at the least, and failing greatly. Strangely, Leo felt more sad for her in that moment than he did for himself, despite the fact that it was his family that was in shambles. 

Before he could contemplate it further, the crown was laid on his head and with it came a heavy feeling that held tight to his throat, complicating his speech. Camilla's hand at the small of his back helped, however not even her affection could relax his tight-wound heartstrings so eager to snap. 

And yet they refused to snap, even after his guests had retired to their quarters and Leo managed to find the time to gaze at the locked doors Elise used to live behind. Something about the lack of candlelight under the door was absolutely earth shattering. His chest felt like it was both hollow and full of needles, stabbing each of his internal organs intimately and violently. As his shoulders shook with dry, half formed sobs as he gazed at the dent in the floorboards where Elise dropped Brynhildr when she was eight. His hands, previously locked behind his back purely by force of habit, fell forward to brush his fingers against the ribbed doorway. Being emotionally unavailable enough to have a hard time crying was a double-edged sword, giving him no way to release his pent up pain and anger but also giving no space for him to embarrass himself by bursting into tears.

“No one thinks you’re weak, you know,” a voice, soft enough to almost hide its owner, echoed from the mouth of the hallway, “We can all see how strong you are.”

“I’m not in the mood for this tonight, Prince Takumi,” He spat back more maliciously than intended.

“You’re stronger than anyone I’ve ever met, Leo,” Takumi didn’t acknowledge his outlash, continuing as if they were old friends, “You need to know that.”

“Stop it.” Leo’s voice caught, but didn’t break.

“Xander would be so proud of you, you know that. Everything’s happening so fast and you’re so young, but look at you,” His voice got closer, and every nerve in Leo’s body told him to leave.

But he wanted to- needed to make his peace with the fact Elise was gone. He couldn’t just go on as king without apologizing, because maybe if he hadn’t gone off to lick his wounds and stew in his defeat, maybe she wouldn’t have died. Maybe if he’d grown up she would have had someone to protect her. Xander wasn’t a surprise, and even though Leo was mourning him as well, Elise was far too young to die. The mere thought of her feeling the amount of pain she had to have endured made his stomach turn over again. Disgust, with himself and Xander and Corrin, bred in his mouth, drying his tongue and filling his lungs with poison. Closing his eyes briefly, he banished the thought of how devastated Camilla was when she went looking for Elise that fateful night. Her screams still echoed in his nightmares every night. 

 

“You need someone,” Takumi’s voice very suddenly sounded like it was right behind him, “And while I’m not who you want, I’m mourning too. It’ll be mutually beneficial.”

“You hardly even know me,” Leo coughed to cover another hitch of his voice, “Why do you even care?” 

“You can let go,” Takumi’s reply was simple, yet drove a stake through his heart, “If you need a shoulder to lean on, just for the night, feel free to use mine.”

“No,” Heartstrings snapping, Leo turned away from Elise’s empty room, “No.”

Even as he pleaded “no” like a broken record, he let his feet plant themselves firmly in front of Takumi, face burying into the soft fabric at his shoulder. Every breath he took felt like fire, coming in shuddering gasps and leaving full of sound. The walls seemed to close around them as Leo hiccuped out an apology to whom he had no clue. Elise’s smiling face crossed his mind, and he knew she wouldn’t want to hear “I’m sorry” from him, so he instead told his cognition of her that he loved her. He could almost hear her laughing when he thought hard enough. Remembering her happy brought on the realization that he was only remembering her as his _dead_ little sister, further upsetting his stomach. Frankly, the fact that he was full-lunged weeping into a _stranger’s_ shoulder was more than slightly bewildering, but not as bewildering as the prospect that with every sob that left his mouth, his chest felt lighter.

Sometime once he was mostly cried out, reduced to trembling huffs of breath and the occasional hiccup, Leo noticed the sensation of Takumi rubbing soothing circles against his lower back and rocking ever so slightly on his heels. It was, in a silly way, relaxing in the way Camilla’s affection was after a long, difficult day. He didn’t fool himself, though, Prince Takumi was not doting on him, nor was he about to kiss his forehead and tell him everything was alright. Regardless, it was a comfort, and Leo was thankful to have broken down in front of his previous sworn enemy just this once. Unfortunately, Takumi was letting go of him before he could compose himself, stepping back only to see a red-faced and puffy-eyed Leo staring back at him. He had the audacity to laugh.

“You should get some rest,” He bit the inside of his cheek to resist smiling too wide, “I’ll keep this between us as long as you do.” 

Something, and he couldn’t for the life of him figure out what it was, about that facial expression made Leo want to smile too. So he did. He smiled, wiping at the tears on his cheeks and letting laughter push through the cloudy lump in his throat. His laughter was met with Takumi’s own, diffusing whatever tension was still built between them. 

“Goodnight,” He nodded, “I hope your room is to your liking.”

“Oh, trust me,” Takumi laughed again, “It is. Sweet dreams, Your Majesty.”

Sparing a final glance at Elise’s door, Leo took a step towards his room. Then he took another and another after that one. Every step was hard, so he took the journey one at a time. And even if it wouldn’t work every single time, it worked that time, and that’s all that mattered.

**Author's Note:**

> my tumblr is pykas/leokume and my twitter is leokume


End file.
